vacuum pump therapy for erectile dysfunction! Hambone's usual style is represented; quiet beginning, then a section more animated , then the chorus which is usually fully animated and loud.
Seems my ol' friend been in a little slump
Looked through the catalogues thought I'd try
Them funny lookin' sex aides a peter pump!
Ain't goin' to no sex shop
Too damned embarrassed to go
Ordered one online and waited
Finally came, the mail was so slow
Got a fancy one, electric
Supposed to work a lot more better
Got it out the box to test it
Ended up bein' a fetter!
Pump stuck on my dick!
Got way too much suction!
S'posed to make it big
Cain't get off the rig
Cain't hit the goddam off button!
Pump stuck on my dick!
Runnin' 'round the house in the buff!
My dick's in the brig,
It got too damned big
Situation's gettin' rough!
In a real predicament, and to make it worse
My dick keeps gettin' bigger and won't go down
The pain is gettin' worse, it's turnin' purple too
I'm embarrassed, hurtin' feel like such a clown!
I get a long screwdriver
As I start to moan and cough
Gonna try goin' real slow
To pry the fucker off
But the suction's way too strong
That thing is just there to stay!
As my dick turns shades of purple
Will I make my get away?
Pump stuck on my dick!
Gettin' real light in the head
There's a goddam flood
My dick's gettin' blood
Not goin' to my brain instead
But I think it's slowin' down
The damned things turnin' off!
Cheap batteries,
As quick as ya please
It shuts down, my dick goes soft!
Let that be a lesson to ya'll
Gonna try any of them things
Don't get no powered ones
If ya value yer dick that swings!
Or ya'll might get
A pump stuck on yer dick!
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